“Today is a new day. Don’t let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want.”
Every once in a while, we may feel a little jaded. Exhausted about things. Work. Love. Family. Friends. Money.
Whatever it is, don’t fret as we all experience crappy moments like these. Ironically, these are the moments that will define us. How we respond to adversity. How we remain steadfast in the pursuit of our objectives.
These are the few things that I tell myself whenever I need that extra bit to go on.
1) Your Mindset Can Make or Break You
The NLP communication model shows that one’s attitude and state (of mind) will affect the individual’s eventual behaviour and actions.
Whenever an external event occurs, the processes of deletion, distortion and generalisation will filter the information received. This leads to a representation of the event that is based on your beliefs, attitudes and experiences.
In short, your internal representation of the event is not the event itself. It’s a filtered version of it. And your internal representation impacts the resultant behaviour.
in that light, when faced with a setback, you might either:
- Think you are a loser and since you have failed before, you might as well not try anymore.
- Think that setbacks are merely another form of feedback, to improve and evaluate. You will try again and again till you achieve success.
Your beliefs and attitude really play a part in shaping your eventual behaviour. Good thing is, the choice is yours. You may not have chosen the event that has occurred, but you can certainly choose your attitude towards it.
2) Thinking about Past Events won’t Change the Future… Actions Will
This was an epiphany of mine some time back.
Brooding over the past, what has been and what could have been, won’t ever change the situation for the better. True, reflecting on past events is important yet it shouldn’t consume your mind totally.
It’s gonna be painful to keep replaying and thinking about all the sad events that have already passed. Worse still, it might lead to other psychological issues as quoted below.
“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” – Rollo Reece May, psychologist
Leave the past behind. Construct a future. Translate those lingering thoughts about the past into possible actions to take now or later.
3) You Can’t Please Every Single Person
Someone once told me that you can’t please every single person. She quoted Jesus, who did no harm to anyone but only good. Yet there were people who were still out to kill him.
Bottom line is, everyone might just probably have their own haters and fans. So don’t bother living a life just to please others cos it won’t work out.
Another friend also shared this phrase: “We spend most of our efforts trying to please people that we don’t care about, only to hurt the few people that we do care about”.
4) No One is Perfect
Everyone’s gotta have weaknesses. Everyone. No exception. And working on one’s weaknesses is a must, be it at work or in personal life.
BUT, don’t let anyone use your weakness as a premise to trivialize you or make you feel like an incompetent piece of crap. Some people magnify your weaknesses and at that point in time, all you see of yourself is your weaknesses and shortcomings.
I’ve allowed myself to feel those things before, but no more. I have other strengths to leverage. Numerous capabilities to be proud of. And so should you.
5) Live in the Present as much as You Look Forward to the Future
As a pretty forward-looking person, I have set many goals that I want to achieve sometime down the road.
Desperately want to grow my investment portfolio. Desperately want to do this. Do that. And everything in between. Spending huge amounts of time thinking about my next step. Planning and forecasting.
That’s of course, good isn’t it? Progressive realization of goals.
But sometimes, I probably fret too much. Worry too much about potential problems that might arise down the road. Worry about things. And I forget to enjoy the present. Fail to relish the things I have going for me right now.
So… don’t attempt to only just live your life in a future that isn’t here yet. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy today. The little things and people who are already there, waiting for your appreciation.
6) The Crap is Just Temporary
This should probably sum things up nicely.
7) Remind Yourself How Far You Have Come Rather Than How Far You Have Left
It’s so easy to think: “Damn it.. I’m still a mile away from my objective.” I often do that. And I would feel down and crappy.
One thing I’ve tried recently to re-frame the situation is to note how much progress I’ve made, rather than what I have not yet accomplished.
It’s the concept of the glass being half-full versus half-empty.
8) You Already Have What’s Most Important – Your Loved Ones
You may falter. Did not achieve what you wanted to.
But at the end of it all, there’s a group of people that won’t care about that. They will spur you on. Cheer you on. Make you feel good about yourself. Or simply being there throughout it all. No matter what you have done or failed to do, they are always behind you.
For me, its my fiancée and my parents. Always remember to count your blessings for having them.
Soldier on, and continue fighting!
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