Love Isn’t Just a Feeling… It’s a Conscious Decision to Commit.

 “Love has no age, no limit; and no death.”
John Galsworthy


At my wedding recently, my sister wrote me a note on a red packet. And in my opinion, not many statements out there could summarize everything about a relationship or even better than this:

Love isn’t just a feeling. Love is a conscious decision to commit.”


Falling in Love Is Easy

Falling in love is not a rational process. It can’t be planned or avoided. It happens – for good or bad it simply happens.” – Suzanne Selfors

It’s easy to meet someone and fall head over heels over him or her.

It’s easy to be excited about going on dates, holidaying and entertaining the thought of living with that special someone.

It’s easy to ignore or embrace the little weaknesses in that someone’s character when its early on in the relationship, when you just wanna enjoy the happy and blissful moments with each other.

In all honesty, you can’t control how you feel towards that someone. It’s just following your heart and that’s easy. Experiencing joy, excitement and all the other positive emotions…

Making a Commitment Isn’t Easy

“We can’t command our love, but we can our actions.” – Arthur Conan Doyle

But… it ain’t as easy to make a commitment though.

Putting time and effort to:

  • Lend a listening ear to each other, even when it means sacrificing appointments with friends that we have not met in ages.
  • Discuss about the issues and disputes, even when its 2 am in the morning and we both have huge work presentations at 9 am.
  • Being there at each other’s worst moments, when it may seem easy to just walk away from it all.

The list goes on…

It’s about how much we guys are willing to commit into this – hold hands and walking through the dark forests together, not just about walking alongside a bed of roses.

You Can’t Control Your Feelings; But You Can Control Your Commitment

Again, we can’t control how we feel towards that someone. It doesn’t take much effort to follow the heart.

But you can control how much we wanna commit though. It’s a rational choice in this aspect. Of course, making a huge commitment means a lot of work and it sure as hell isn’t easy. Not at all.

I have seen couples breaking up not because of lack of feelings between them, but rather an inability to commit into the relationship and deal with the existing problems.

I have also seen couples parting ways after the initial sparks fizzle out, and both parties aren’t willing to put in effort to rekindle the magic that made them crazy over each other in the first place.

In some of these cases, the parties involved made conscious decisions not to commit heavily into the relationship.


.I admit its only been weeks into my marriage, and I definitely lack the wisdom and experience of older married couples. But during challenging times throughout our 4-year long relationship, I have always stuck by this belief – commitment. And that shouldn’t change after marriage.

Taking the vows at the church was more than just a proclamation of our feelings towards each other. It was the declaration of our lifelong commitment to each other. It meant giving oneself to each other in all circumstances.

During the wedding speech at the banquet, I ended off by saying this to my wife:

“I can’t promise you that marriage is going to be a bed of roses. But what I can promise you is I will be there beside you, for better or for worse, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. There are gonna be tough times, but there is no one else I would rather go through these times with, other than you.”

It’s a long journey ahead, but I’m gonna choose to enjoy it and embrace whatever roadblocks that may come between us. It’s a choice.


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One thought on “Love Isn’t Just a Feeling… It’s a Conscious Decision to Commit.

  1. Pingback: Understanding The 5 Phases Of A Relationship | WEALTH. LOVE.

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